It is with complete certainty that I state, all churchgoers have wanted to quit church at some point. There are many reasons people choose to continue going but there are also many reasons to walk away. Here is a list of why people decide it’s a good idea to quit and why I agree with them.

1. This church doesn’t have enough ministries to serve my family.

… yep, it’s time you quit simply attending church and start serving the church. If there is a noticeable need for a ministry and you are aware, YOU need to stand in the gap. God might have brought this to your attention so you have an opportunity to grow in ministry. Volunteer and start the ministry!

2. I’ve been called to a particular ministry and my pastor is not supporting me the way I think he should.

… yep, it’s time to quit attending church and start being the church. If you’ve been called to sing, to preach, to serve, to minister in any capacity and you are looking for an audience… you’ve missed it. There are so many ministries that are outside the four walls that can use your talents. I’ve pastored, sat on boards of charities/churches and supported ministry and the biggest issue with people is, they want to “preach to the choir”. All Ministry in the church should be a springboard for ministry outside the church. If you sing in church, that’s great but you are singing to those who already have the song of God in their heart. (Ephesians 5:19) Sing to those who need “the song”. Sing when there is no glory. No big surprise, but many people love singing in church ( and are certain that is their ministry) where there’s an audience but no one wants to sing to the elderly, the disabled and to the needy. That’s where real ministry lies. The same with preaching, everyone wants to preach in front of the congregation but no one wants to preach and teach when there is no glory. if you have a calling to teach, teach children’s ministry or youth ministry, then use that to build confidence and springboard it to teach and preach to the lost. Teach and preach the word in homes, to the lost and to as many who have an ear to hear.

3. I disagree with their doctrine…

… yep, again quit attending church and become the solution to the problem you see. First, you do not have to agree doctrinally with everyone you attend church with. People are on the life-long path. God does not reveal all truth to someone all at once. Their faith is like a mustard seed which must grow and it takes time. So, if everyone all agreed and no one had any differences, we’d be like the “Stepford wives”. Share God’s revelation and inspiration with those around you. Minister to them. However, remember James when he says first feed others and take care of their needs. (James 2:14-25) If you want to influence someone else with God’s Word, first be their friend and serve them. Jesus built a relationship with the 12 apostles for three years before He opened their understanding to the scriptures (Luke 24:45). God has not called you to condemn through doctrine but to edify and uplift through doctrine. if what you have received is worthy of God’s Kingdom, it must be shared through love … and love is patient and kind (I Corinthians 13:4-8). Also, remember, if you teach, also be willing to learn. Always look for what God is trying to teach you through others.

4. No one cares whether I attend or miss

… Do you seek the approval of man or of God? (Galatians 1:10) If you are an attendee and not a servant, you might not be missed for just warming a pew. However, if you are using the church for what it is meant to be used for… a gateway to ministry and serving others, you will be missed. Those who serve will be missed when they are unable to serve. It is quite arrogant of us to think we should be missed because we are so special and deserve notice for just existing.

5. There are too many hypocrites

… Jesus acknowledged the hypocrite as being a normal part of the church. They are called tares (Matthew 13:24-30) . They are planted by the enemy. They look like wheat (Christians) but are really weeds (non Christians) and the main difference, is one bears fruit and the other does not. We are not supposed to go around trying to judge which is which. Jesus instructs his servants to let them grow among the wheat and in the harvest ( the end times), God will separate the two. You cannot extricate yourself from the presence of the tares or you will be removing yourself from God’s field. You are required to live with the tares and God will deliver you from them on the day of judgment. You survive the field and please God when you rise above the tares and bear fruit in spite of them. The main reason YOU should not judge between the tares and the wheat is because they both look alike and the immature wheat also does not bear fruit. Do not remove a tare because you think they bear no fruit as you might be removing an immature wheat.

One Sunday, I visited a prophet. I was skeptical. He did not seem like he was anything great. I was in my early twenties and my father was pastoring a church in Tucson, Arizona. We were invited by this prophet to his home. He said he had a word from the Lord for our family. I was not impressed by the small living room that had rows of chairs lined up. I was not impressed with the complete lack of music. I was not impressed by the location or the people who met in this bad side of town. I was not impressed that there was no children’s ministry, no Sunday School and I was equally unimpressed by this man who called himself a prophet. It is my instinctive response to scoff with disbelief when people make such proclamations. I was just completely annoyed to be in attendance at all. As the service wore on, and “The prophet” took the microphone, I was wishing I was anywhere but here. I’ve met enough self proclaimed prophets and had heard so many prophesies that I just impatiently shifted in my seat trying to “will” this whole thing over with. Little did I know, that this man’s words would set my destiny in motion in spite of my disbelief. That day, he took my hands and began to prophesy that I would use these hands to grasp the Sword of Truth to decipher the Word for those who would hear. He prophesied that my husband and I would minister together. At the time, I was married to my first husband and I scoffed at the very idea of him doing any kind of ministering at all. I did go home and write this event in my diary. I did not know that before the decade was out, my first husband would leave me and the church. I would eventually remarry and this man and I would pray together, serve together, speak together, start businesses and churches together. It was meant to be, We WOULD minister together. Continue reading →

For as long as I have been a Christian, the debate on the integrity of leadership has been heated and divisive. I have seen both sides. People who demand integrity in leadership and people who set the wrong standards when they take on the mantle of leadership. We admire men/women who step up and show characteristics that are bold, daring, that exude fortitude and strength. The sad part is when we think of leaders we don’t really want to see their humanity. We want the “man/woman” but somehow our acceptance of the message must be negotiated by how perfect they are. We want to see the David who killed Goliath, not the David who slept with Bathsheba. As my Husband, Chris so clearly stated to me “Do we now throw out the book of Psalms because an adulterer wrote it?” We want the Peter who stood up on the day of Pentecost and preached boldly to strangers that were challenging the initiation of the new covenant not the Peter who was rebuked by Paul for playing politics with the Gentile believers ( Galatians 2:11-14).

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This is a story for all those who have been broken and pieced back together. My mother was always a very active woman, and it was a rare occasion that my mother was not busy cleaning, cooking, baking, praying, or doing something in the church. On one occasion, she and I went to someone’s home, and as the adults were busy doing what adults do, I slowly meandered around the home and came across a glass case of cups and saucers. I wasn’t that much into children’s tea parties, but I was intrigued by how many teacups were all in this one case. My imagination was captivated by all the people an adult tea party would have, and I thought of what it would look like with each of these cups full of tea or coffee. I could see the cakes, cookies, small salads, or sandwiches that these cups and saucers would accompany. I am intrigued by taste, and so my imagination went soaring and I enjoyed the thought of all the fun it would be to taste these delightful treats. This beautiful case had captured my childhood imagination and I could see myself sitting at a beautiful table in a garden eating all the goodies and sipping the tea.

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Can there be anything more beautiful than surrender? Like a maiden to her lover, like a knight who pledges his life in loyal submission. It’s a careless abandon that has no self preservation. The plunge into the unknown. To dive into waters to face whatever is beneath because this is truly living. As we walk through the streets of our concrete jungles and hear the constant barrage and buzz of frivolous voices that reveal shallow relationships based on greed and self indulgence, we search to give ourselves to a true cause. It may consume us whole but at least in the end, for a moment, who we are and what we did, mattered.

I want to surrender to an incorruptible hero who will unshackle my heart of it’s dead,  stone casing. I want it raw and broken. I want to feel beyond this life into the universe. I want it to echo beyond a conceivable scope because the passion is so great and so intense that it radiates to the place time is irrelevant. I want Him to free me from the confines and prisons of the physical and material. To be emblazoned like a banner with words of passion that are etched across me like the sky. To have the word of His mouth that can slay all that exists before it, to fill me and bleed out with the force of light bursting from a star. I am besotted and overtaken. My soul breathes and shutters the wind of life because it cannot contain it and I want to surrender even as it consumes every part of me again and again. I don’t want anything in this life more than I want Him. Let it fall, let it all fall because the prince of this world has no hold, nothing of value, nothing irreplaceable, nothing that does not rot and fade away. He plays at love but he will never be a true contender for my complete and total surrender.

My grandmother was not a preacher. She did not like to speak in public and although she was friendly, she was shy around strangers. She was legally blind with only 20% vision in one eye. With all those encumbrances my grandmother was a preacher maker. She gave spiritual birth to four pastors and three teachers. Their ministries have given spiritual birth to countless numbers, supported homeless missions and food banks, prison ministries, counseling to those who are in troubled circumstance, provided healing for the spiritually and physically abused and started children’s centers for the low income with financial aid for the single parent, the families who cannot find employment and even those whose incomes exceed the opportunity for help from government programs but cannot afford it on their own income. If a little old blind lady can have that kind of impact, what excuse will we have when we stand before our maker?

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Having spent my life in leadership, for the first time in my life I find myself somewhat at peace being on a sabbatical from all the responsibilities leadership piles on. I am no longer a business owner with employees, a pastor, a music director, a worship leader, a community leader or a piano teacher. During this time of rest, I see myself and my own failures being replayed in the leaders around me. The angst that accompanies this viewpoint is similar to watching a sporting event and seeing a big “fail” on the field. It may be easy for spectators to criticize, but having been “in the game” it is also part empathy for me. There is nothing as all-consuming, or exhausting as leadership. Leaders will always have my empathy and sincere appreciation. Even still, it is disheartening to see any leader fail. Because of this, with much love and appreciation I write this article.

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I grew up in a very conservative Pentecostal home. We lived by many rules called “standards”. The hope was that these rules would instill some kind of deep spirituality in our children. As my generation grew up, many of the children who lived among so many rules could only see “the rules” and not the spirituality that the rules were meant to inspire. There were a small number that found the rules to to be a “fence of security” from a world they could not embrace but feared and they became the next generation of the modern day Pentecostal. There were also a group of survivors that fell victim to the “unyielding law” of the rules where injustice was found in the immediate forgiveness of the passive personalities that readily apologized and conformed while those who questioned for better understanding were never given a place of acceptance at all. Continue reading →

A Common Mustard Plant

A few weeks ago, I was preparing to do my Sunday Sermon on the Mustard Seed. Surprisingly, in my years of teaching and preaching, I have never focused on the parables concerning the Mustard Seed. I may have mentioned it in a sermon that touches on faith but I have never truly studied the parable or tried to analyze the profound analogies in which Christ used the amazing Mustard Seed.